(Caution: this article might cause some nauseousness in men, especially stingy ones. In case of severe adversity such as breaking out in cold sweat and prolonged giddy spells, PLEASE do not even consider marriage unless it is to your own male specimen)
2005 will be a year of love and happy beginnings for many.
A Sampler:
January - Carmen & Stephen
March - Peyling & Donny
July - Aishing & Jonathan
November - Albert & Vivienne
November - Huayimm & Damien
December - Huie & James
Congrats!
6 weddings to attend to date, and counting. All this romance is making my head dizzy.
Of course, it is imperative to keep a clear mind for budgeting my finances in lieu of all that ang pow money I need to set aside. I sense a dull ache in my heart and I suspect it has nothing to do with singlehood.
For the uninitiated, let me briefly give you a financial account of what weddings are all about.
1st and foremost - ang pow $$ for the lovely wedded couple. Its face value directly proportional to how much you value your friendship (or how much you want the couple to think you value your friendship) with the bride or groom or both.
2nd - hen's party. Expenses can vary depending on several factors. Number of crazy galfriends, intensity of their craziness, proportion of crazy galfriends who are still single, whether everyone likes the groom, whether everyone likes the bride, whether you like the groom (or the bride) in a different manner... It can be anything from a 'tekan-the-why-is-she-the-one-instead' session to a full-blown review of the bride's lifetime's worth of men and her fantasies.
Bare neccessities: reputable hotel suite, free-flow of champagne, milk and flower petals for the bath, heart-shaped chocolate and pastries, cute pyjamas and full-range of beauty products, digital videocamera, old photo albums and school books. Macho guys in a big gift box would be a bonus... Macho guys sans clothes would be a god-send.
(OK guys, I am tantalising you here...we're really just talking about a few rounds of drinks and some late-night chit chat. No hanky-panky...we're convent girls!)
3rd - no party, wedding or not, is complete without practising the girl's must-do head-to-toe beautification ritual that starts 3 days before the big day. It is therapeutic food for the soul - the highest form of meditation to calm and cleanse the mind and body. All to summon the real beauty that we believe lies herein. It'll be bad karma not to do it.
$$ goes to essentials such as professional manicure & pedicure, daily facial, brow shaping, hair treatment and possibly some color to 'bring out your best features', waxing in all the right places, liquid detox diet to flush out toxins for baby smooth and radiant skin, diet supplements for total wellness (think Vitamins A to Z)... It takes a real heroine to stick to the formula. Fashionable (and cash-rich) brides-to be will be in the loop enough to know where to organize a Let's-All-Do-The-Spa-Thing at Institut Clarins or similar bank-breaking establishments.
4th - party/wedding/banquet gear. Dresses. A sweet and sassy tea dress for the ROM or traditional ceremony, a dreamy pastel church dress for accompanying the bride down the aisle, and definitely the classic elegant night gown for the grand finale - the hotel banquet, where hopefully hordes of CESS (CESS = Cute, Eligible, Single & Straight) guys are activated on standby to wolfwhistle at us. New shoes (absolutely essential). No shoes, no party. Bags to compliment the new shoes, and more importantly, how else do you think we can keep our make-up within reach anytime, anywhere? Do you really seriously think there are girls who have naturally rosy and dewy skin??!! And well, lastly, accessories of all sorts to match our dresses, of course. Be them pretty plastic or dazzling diamonds, we'll never have enough of them. Somewhere at the back of our well-groomed skulls, we really believe that earrings are actually part of our human anatomy and God merely forgot about them in the creation process.
Other important non-monetary must-haves commonly encountered at weddings include the standard issue of Mr. Boyfriend on hand for Ms. Girlfriend to volunteer his services for the couple, such as bridesmaid car chauffeuring, helping the groom with treacherous tasks to win the bride over on wedding day, getting drunk in place of the groom, and other miscellaneous activities deemed suitable to prove his unyielding loyalty to the Girlfriend. However, Girlfriend must seriously decide if this candidate is to be present at all, since that will greatly affect her chances of meeting CESSes. I rest my case.
Last but not least, if the blessed couple decides to seek your help to be their bridesmaid, MC, church coordinator, receptionist, or any other similar roles requiring involvement in addition to just turning up on the big day, then all of the above is to be upped in dosage. Doubled at least, if you'd ask me. Who knows, you might be duely rewarded in various ways. A friend of mine found her husband-to-be at a wedding for which she was the MC. How's that for a 'little' effort?
Happy Matrimony!
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Saturday, December 25, 2004
This Christmas...
...is extra special as it happened to coincide with my Chinese lunar birthday. Well, of course I didn't know that until a few days past Christmas when my mom mentioned it casually to me. Not that it mattered, since this Christmas already was quite memorable, considering I was hundreds of miles away from home, releasing sky lanterns with my 3 galfriends in Pingxi, Taipei.
It was a small and tranquil town, a little too quiet in fact. I was a trifle disappointed that there was hardly anyone else there with the same purpose of releasing sky lanterns on Christmas night, save for a young couple and a small group of teenage girls. The last time I came was on Yuan Xiao, the 15th day of the 1st lunar month, when thousands of people gather to release their brightly-lit sky lanterns all at once. It was an incredible sight to behold. Well, I suppose Christmas eve would be more appropriate...we should have came one night earlier. But who cares, we came with a purpose, crowd or no crowd.
We got off our train, checked the return schedule and stepped out into the cold drizzling rain. A matronly woman holding an umbrella called out to us, confirming our identity, and quickly ushered us toward her home-cum-workshop.
We headed upstairs into her living room, where stacks of finished sky lanterns laid out on the floor in anticipation of the New Year eve crowd. Father, son and daughter were watching TV when we stepped in. It felt like we were intruding a cozy family evening, but we were soon busy scribbling our wishes on the lanterns amidst laughter and noisy chatter. Everything else slipped into oblivion...
Photos taken, we left the workshop in high spirits, not the least affected by the cold, damp weather. We have been assured that these lanterns are able to take off in slight rain, so no worries at all.
I couched under the lantern to light the kerosene-soaked insense paper that was clipped within. We quickly posed for the camera and hastily released each of the lanterns, as rain was starting to beat down mercilessly on us.
Four sky lanterns of four different colors representing luck, love, career and fortune, released slowly one by one into the dark, drizzling Taiwan sky, carrying our hope and excitement along with rising flame within.
They went up higher and higher, one following the other, until they were just specks of light, and disappeared into the clouds. We watched in silence, fingers crossed behind our backs that our dreams, our wishes, our hopes will reach where we want them to go.
Merry Christmas to all, and Happy Birthday to myself.
It was a small and tranquil town, a little too quiet in fact. I was a trifle disappointed that there was hardly anyone else there with the same purpose of releasing sky lanterns on Christmas night, save for a young couple and a small group of teenage girls. The last time I came was on Yuan Xiao, the 15th day of the 1st lunar month, when thousands of people gather to release their brightly-lit sky lanterns all at once. It was an incredible sight to behold. Well, I suppose Christmas eve would be more appropriate...we should have came one night earlier. But who cares, we came with a purpose, crowd or no crowd.
We got off our train, checked the return schedule and stepped out into the cold drizzling rain. A matronly woman holding an umbrella called out to us, confirming our identity, and quickly ushered us toward her home-cum-workshop.
We headed upstairs into her living room, where stacks of finished sky lanterns laid out on the floor in anticipation of the New Year eve crowd. Father, son and daughter were watching TV when we stepped in. It felt like we were intruding a cozy family evening, but we were soon busy scribbling our wishes on the lanterns amidst laughter and noisy chatter. Everything else slipped into oblivion...
Photos taken, we left the workshop in high spirits, not the least affected by the cold, damp weather. We have been assured that these lanterns are able to take off in slight rain, so no worries at all.
I couched under the lantern to light the kerosene-soaked insense paper that was clipped within. We quickly posed for the camera and hastily released each of the lanterns, as rain was starting to beat down mercilessly on us.
Four sky lanterns of four different colors representing luck, love, career and fortune, released slowly one by one into the dark, drizzling Taiwan sky, carrying our hope and excitement along with rising flame within.
They went up higher and higher, one following the other, until they were just specks of light, and disappeared into the clouds. We watched in silence, fingers crossed behind our backs that our dreams, our wishes, our hopes will reach where we want them to go.
Merry Christmas to all, and Happy Birthday to myself.
* Hot Spring Trip
Clockwise from top left: Pat, Siewhong, Me, Hweehoon.
Wulai, Taipei County -- Dec'2004
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Career Crossroads
This is a happening week. So happening that I'm not quite sure what happened...
I had signed the letter of appointment from my company's China HR dept for my relocation to Shanghai next April, and thus sealing my fate to become an underpaid foreign worker.
Then on the very next day, I received MOE's notification for an interview to teach. Oh, how I've waited for this day to come! Felt elation followed by intense worry, because my interview date is scheduled on the day I fly off to Taipei. I'm never going to make it. What now? See? That's the punishment for thinking of having fun all the time.
Guess the only way out is to call in tomorrow for a new date. Fingers crossed, pray pray pray hard.
And if I really get the teaching job, I'll have to worry about how to break the news to my boss.
"David, I'm not going to Shanghai after all. I'm absolutely terrified of taking a plane." Blah.
"David, I can't express how sorry I am, but I've decided to retire." Two blahs.
"David, I don't think I am suited for the job. I'm applying to be your boss." Triple blahs plus bonus bouts of self-satisfaction.
"David, I regret to inform you that I am resigning coz I've got a better offer from the Ministry of Exxxxxxxx. Their slavery package is more attractive." Perfect.
Updated Jan'05 - Read a news article in the local papers about a British bloke who got fired from his job because he explicitly demonstrated hostility toward his boss in his blog, calling him names and claiming to be treacherously exploited like a slave.
After careful consideration, I have decided that I am not a coward and will not remove this entry even if I risk getting the sack. But Boss, in case if you do read this, I must solemnly declare that the above post is purely fictional, done in the manner of good fun and light-hearted humor, and is in no way reflective of the actual situation. I love my job, I love my company, I love you!
I had signed the letter of appointment from my company's China HR dept for my relocation to Shanghai next April, and thus sealing my fate to become an underpaid foreign worker.
Then on the very next day, I received MOE's notification for an interview to teach. Oh, how I've waited for this day to come! Felt elation followed by intense worry, because my interview date is scheduled on the day I fly off to Taipei. I'm never going to make it. What now? See? That's the punishment for thinking of having fun all the time.
Guess the only way out is to call in tomorrow for a new date. Fingers crossed, pray pray pray hard.
And if I really get the teaching job, I'll have to worry about how to break the news to my boss.
"David, I'm not going to Shanghai after all. I'm absolutely terrified of taking a plane." Blah.
"David, I can't express how sorry I am, but I've decided to retire." Two blahs.
"David, I don't think I am suited for the job. I'm applying to be your boss." Triple blahs plus bonus bouts of self-satisfaction.
"David, I regret to inform you that I am resigning coz I've got a better offer from the Ministry of Exxxxxxxx. Their slavery package is more attractive." Perfect.
Updated Jan'05 - Read a news article in the local papers about a British bloke who got fired from his job because he explicitly demonstrated hostility toward his boss in his blog, calling him names and claiming to be treacherously exploited like a slave.
After careful consideration, I have decided that I am not a coward and will not remove this entry even if I risk getting the sack. But Boss, in case if you do read this, I must solemnly declare that the above post is purely fictional, done in the manner of good fun and light-hearted humor, and is in no way reflective of the actual situation. I love my job, I love my company, I love you!
Got My Star!
I found my arms. Aching arms, that is...
After this Kayaking 1 Star course taken at the Changi Sea Sports Club over 2 weeks, I have:
- found out that the device that we paddled around in in the past should be properly called a kayak. Not a canoe. Well, the kayak is in the canoe family. But you still can't call it a canoe. In a way it is, but it is not...I'm confused...
- realized that my previous ODAC round-the-island canoeing experience could be my own hallucination...
- re-learnt all the cool technical stuff and re-embraced the sea
- began to like capsizing
- had lots of fun and laughter while choking on seawater (how salty IS the sea?!!)
- self realized that it's time to lose weight (butt-in method getting tough)
- developed a slight tan which I hope will stay on longer this time
- gained a list of coursemates to go kayaking with
- a new late-night MSN messaging partner - super kayak-enthusiast coach Bernard who kayaks everyday to attain nirvana
- decided that Agilent is a GREAT company to work for. At least I don't have to get up before sunrise to work in Tuas and speed-eat 30 min lunches everyday, which is what my poor fellow coursemates are doing now at their company
- finally received my 1-star cert in mint and laminated condition
2-star here I come! Err...soon la.
After this Kayaking 1 Star course taken at the Changi Sea Sports Club over 2 weeks, I have:
- found out that the device that we paddled around in in the past should be properly called a kayak. Not a canoe. Well, the kayak is in the canoe family. But you still can't call it a canoe. In a way it is, but it is not...I'm confused...
- realized that my previous ODAC round-the-island canoeing experience could be my own hallucination...
- re-learnt all the cool technical stuff and re-embraced the sea
- began to like capsizing
- had lots of fun and laughter while choking on seawater (how salty IS the sea?!!)
- self realized that it's time to lose weight (butt-in method getting tough)
- developed a slight tan which I hope will stay on longer this time
- gained a list of coursemates to go kayaking with
- a new late-night MSN messaging partner - super kayak-enthusiast coach Bernard who kayaks everyday to attain nirvana
- decided that Agilent is a GREAT company to work for. At least I don't have to get up before sunrise to work in Tuas and speed-eat 30 min lunches everyday, which is what my poor fellow coursemates are doing now at their company
- finally received my 1-star cert in mint and laminated condition
2-star here I come! Err...soon la.
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