Survivor -- Behind the Primary School Gate

The reality of primary school education from the eyes of new teacher who beat the odds to survive the most grueling and challenging race ever...

I am totally flat out at 3:30pm on a Thursday afternoon, unbelievably grateful to be finally home after nine periods of what I think was called 'teaching', and at the same time, sinking deeper and deeper into despair at the thought of being back in school 16 hours later.

From my experience, being Ms. Tan to a class of 35 pre-adolescent rascals in a neighbourhood co-ed primary school (one that admits children from welfare homes, no less) can be potentially live-threatening. It single-handedly tops any other activities that I have ever attempted, to win the dubious honor of being the most exhausting and dangerous.

And by the way, this is only the second day of my ideally-long-and-very-prosperous teaching career.

In case if you think teaching is peasy easy, especially in primary schools, and are wondering what the fuss from us 'incompetent government educators' is about, let me count thy ways:

1) Straight hours of, not talking, but screaming at the top of our voices, usually just to get the children to sit down or shut up.

2) Having to deal with kids who not only do not want to listen, but also constantly do things to disturb their classmates so that any attempt to teach is futile. Examples of the things they do include shouting non-stop like a madman, snatching stationary and chasing each other around the class, walking around the classroom without any purpose or worse, walking out of the classrooms to disturb the students in other classes.

3) Making sure that the noise level is down so that other teachers will not walk over to pass disgusted looks of contempt.

4) Dealing with older foreign students who are either to bored with the syllabus, too shy to speak, or do not understand much English to know what we are talking about. These students are often the ones who will refuse participation, and subsequently get lost in their own worlds while the crazy local kids wreak havoc in class.

5) Not having enough time to get to know students well, nor to give additional attention to the weaker ones, nor even to explain a lesson to someone who had been absent.

6) Having to spark their interest in learning by conducting creative lessons. However, this is not the difficult part. The difficult part is to keep them calm and quiet after we have indeed sparked their interest.

7) Keeping your eyes on what's happening in the classrooms, as well as outside it. Many a times, students will seek permission to go to the toilet only to loiter around and play with students from other classes who also happened to seek permission from other teachers to go to the toilet as well. Sometimes, I wonder if they are part of a bigger syndicate and that they had learnt to synch their watches just like the SWAT team.

8) Trying to be fair and not show any favoritism even though one student is an angel, and the other, clearly a devil.

9) Trying very hard to not laugh when the cheeky ones crack a real funny joke, and having to put a false front and ask what is so funny, sternly in return. (Of course, we are after all human and it is healthy to have a good laugh with the kids. However, it is sane practice not to laugh or even smile AT ALL for the first two months if you want an easy life. Do this at your own peril.)

10) Having to develop a multi-talent ability to teach English Language, Mathematics, Science, Health Education, Social Studies, Art & Craft, Music, PE and God knows what other subjects, not only at the level I am teaching, but also at any levels that I might be required to substitute for in case of teachers being absent.

All these, in lieu of administrative work and other responsibilities which are not required of me at this point of time yet.

So you see, I am totally impressed with teachers who can handle it all, especially those who do it with style.

To teachers out there, I say to you, good job to have lived thus far.

For me, the war is not lost. Although my first days in teaching is much like a surprise attack by the unknown enemy, I am still very much in the battle. All I need is a change of tactics and some medication for my raising BP (blood pressure). The way to longevity in this business, I realized, is to raise your voice and lower your expectations, increase tolerance threshold and decrease emotional attachment. Great. Now I have a perfect plan.

In days to come, I am not sure if I will ever learn to control my class. So maybe I am a little too nice to execute any punishment, a little to short to be considered a fearful figure, and a little to soft to scare with my voice. But I think I like it the way it is. The way I can continue to do my little best to educate these youngsters and chase them for their homework without changing their pesky personalities nor wipe off that naughty cheeky grin. They should be free to play and explore this world with their own minds. What they just need is a mentor. Not another dictator.