I write, you read. No bargaining.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Sorry Wrong Number

Two date invitations in a month. I took a double-take each time and looked left, right and about me before asking, "Me? You sure you got the right person?"

I don't know what's wrong with me. Suddenly, boys take interest in me. Could be the current alignment of planets, but I'd prefer to think that I am 人見人愛,車見車載...

If you, my friend, think that's good news, let me re-emphasize:

"Suddenly, boys take an interest in me."

Not men... not guys... but BOYS. Boys who were still in their PAP kindergarten uniform when I took my PSLE.

Gosh. I'm attracting the wrong age group. Think I'd probably be less distressed if they were lesbians. But boys, I can't handle. You know why? Coz I'm thinking, why the f*** didn't this happen to me when I was still a GIRL??!! That is so not a happy thought.

If I've had the right address, I would definitely write in to the Ministry of Love to complain:

Dear Minister,

I would like to bring to your attention that, very much to my disappointment, the service rendered by your staff was extremely unsatisfactory. The cupid-in-charge of my district had processed my CSM (Come Shoot Me) application 10 years too late. As I have suffered major physical and emotional damages due to his negligence, I expect to be duly compensated for my precious time lost and lack of suitors over the last decade.

Please look into the matter and I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,
Irrate Single

You laugh, but personally, I think this is tragic. I've done my best to look wise and mature beyond my tiny 1.48m frame, but I fail miserably. Even my latest investment - a pair of copperwire spectacles does not seem to work. To add salt to injury, the optician charged me student rate.

As a final attempt, I shall make an appeal on my blog:

To all my fans out there (only two, actually...), Auntie think you boys are really the cutest, but aunties really prefer uncles.

Updated 12/07 - Come to think of it, no I do not prefer uncles, thank you very much. Younger guys are very much welcomed. Just try not to be cuter than me, please.)

3 comments:

PurpleRain3 said...

Hey Erika.....can u send me the soft copy of that letter as well and the MOL e-mail add? I'd like to voice out my issue as well...heehee...

hmm....maybe this is an indication that you should be looking for younger guys? :P Just kidding!

Bananakiller said...

Eh Auntie Eilin, count your lucky stars lah.. mia hiam ma si buey pai.. at least you've got the boys to rouse your otherwise insipid and stale life.. take pity on those who can't even attract those lecherous old men.. I think only houseflies or mosquitoes will take interests in them. How sad!

Eilin T. said...

Hey Geng-Jio,

Siao siao ar, go Shanghai for so long already, Hokkien still Lumber One!